Have you ever made a mistake? I mean a small one that you've tried to make amends for? The kind that you put your all into trying to undo what you've done so that you can relieve your consciousness of guilt? I've done it plenty of times, but last year was the biggest that I've made in a long time, and it was directed towards the person who I should be protecting the most..MYSELF. I forgot about her, her feelings and what truly mattered to HER. I put work and adulting over the most important person I need to survive and thrive...MYSELF.
But this year I plan to do things differently. My innermost self that we all have is really our younger selves wanting to be recognized and allowed to just BE.
What I realized was that the more I suppressed my inner child, the more unhappy I became and the crankier I got. The more I was disciplined to get the job done, the more life lost its luster and glam. It became gray and I didn't know how to change it back to its original color..until I hit my breaking point.
My emotional and mental health began breaking down and I wanted to escape. I wanted out of the box that I was put in so I can get a "do over". I was at the point where I knew my mistake, but I was too far in the game and had to stay on this train ride until I got the chance to jump off at the next available stop. The station read "Exhaustion" and that's exactly where I was in the middle of the fourth quarter. I took some time to figure out where I went wrong and how to recognize my inner child's voice to take a break. I realized that those thoughts of doing fun things like taking a walk, going to the toy store, riding my bike, or even going outside we're all examples of what I thought were distractions that should be delayed. But those short lived activities were just what I needed to release, to acknowledge the small joys of life, and replenish myself to continue with the huge task of adulting. The more I reviewed those train stops I missed the clearer I got with what really matters. It's the small moments of life where you become present to see what and who really matters and YOU should be at the top of the list! 2025 has given me a renewed look on reorganizing priorities and a Clean Slate to make better choices for my well being so I can live out my purpose through the eyes of my innermost self. What are you going to do with your clean Slate?
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